What Have I Done...............

OMG, I can not believe what just happened. All I want to do now is curl up somewhere and cry. I had no idea that I had hurt my son so much. Let me explain what happend so you can understand. I was sitting in my room waiting on him to come talk. He storms into my room in a way and begins to raise his voice at me. Telling me that I had done his father wrong by marrying Claudius and that I did not really love Claudius at all. Then when I thought he as calming down, he began to carry on a conversation with the air. I did not see anything but he said it was the ghost of his father. I thought he had went mad. Then I began to calmly and rationaly talk to me and it broke my heart and I no longer wonder what I had done to make him angry and make myself angry; I felt sadness, regret, and remorse because I realized what I had done and it was not good. So, now we sat there looking on at the lifeless body of Polonius because Hamlet killed him when he heard someone lerking behind the curtain. I told him that I would not tell a soul of what he had said. I now feel closer to my son than I ever thought I could. I just hope everything turns out ok.

Passing the Time

Well, as long as I am sitting her I figured I might as well do something constructive to get my mind off of my son, so I decided to do a little sewing. It is not much but it is something, I do not have much else to do under the circumstances. I could plan a party, but their is not anything to celebrate, I could go to sleep, but until Hamlet comes that will never happen, or I could do what I am doing blogging and sewing. However, speaking of parties, I could plan a Halloween party; yeah that is a good idea. I will need food ideas, entertainment ideas, invitations, a costume, and the list just keeps going. I better get started now before it is too late. Halloween is closing in very quickly.

Still Waiting..................

I have been sitting here for what seems like an eternity and Hamlet still has not come. Maybe he is hiding from something; what if, he is hiding from me. No, No, I can not bear to think that my own son what run and keep something from his mother, it is not possible. Maybe I am letting my mind get the best of me, maybe I have nothing to be concerned about, maybe.............. Oh I just don't know what to think. I know what I will do though no matter what he says I will try and keep an open mind and maybe if I do some answers will be revealed, I hope.


Mood: Concerned

As If Things Could Not Possibly Get Any Worse

Well I still had a small amount of hope left but I fear all of that is now gone too. Tonight my son really showed that he has lost his mind. He embarrassed Ophelia, myself, Claudius, and especially himself. I don't know what I am going to do with him. If he does not change soon drastic measures will have to be taken. I don't know what those will be yet but something will be done. He made it known tonight that he did not agree with my marrying his uncle, and that he did not think I loved his father at all. I broadcast this across the entire assembly, and not only that suggested that poor Ophelia had had relations with him in front of God and everybody. Then to take the cake the play that was presented alluded that I had loved my husband and proclaimed my love to him and that while sleeping in the garden he was poisoned by someone who then remarried his wife. To me that is a little strange, maybe a coincidence, but who knows if it just happened to be a close storyline to my life minus my husbands death. I am beginning to wonder though whether or not I made the right decision marrying Claudius; I sure hope so. But I must go and speak to my son and find out what is going on in his mind.

What Am I Going To Do

Well, I thought that maybe if I gave Hamlet some time to himself that things would get better, but they aren't. He is just getting worse. I am very concerned because he is starting to act crazy. He is not making any sense most of the time and I don't know what to do. My husbands friend Polonius seems to think that he is in love with his daughter Ophelia and that he is angry because she has not spoken to him. They are planning to set a trap using Ophelia as bait to find out if he loves her or not. I hope that this is what is wrong but if it isn't I don't know what I am going to do. If it isn't I hope that we can find out what is and try and help him though. Well I am going to go and try and care for Hamlet and think about what is going on.

What a day, no not even a day, what a month. In a months time my husband has died and I have remarried. I can't say that I am not sad because I am and I do miss him but you can not dwell on things forever, you have to move on. I guess that sounds bad on my part and that I did not love him but I did, but this oppurtunity came up which allowed me to still be queen and who could pass that up.
So, anyway, I married Claudius, my brother-in-law, because he was voted in by the people to be king and he asked me to marry him. Hamlet is not happy about the matter but what can you do, he wants to mourn and I am trying to move on with my life. You can not please everyone. But anyway I must get off of here and go and talk to my husband. Tomorrow is always a new day.